The Plan (Welfare Week)

As the final hours before the challenge are winding away, there is some serious tension building here in the office and around our group of friends. Nerves are tight and planning is in full swing.

Paul did his grocery shopping last night, and is convinced that things are going to be tough all over. “I mean, I spent 10 fucking dollars before I even left the produce section! Dude, you are completely screwed.” Oh, Paul.

Last night, Duke came over and had what could only be described as a panic attack. “It doesn’t make any sense! People on food stamps could barter their talents and steal or panhandle! Why can’t I barter for my [recreational medicine]? This is bullshit!”

It has become apparent that a lot of people are thinking this will be the worst week ever. I, on the other hand, am full on stoked to get going. Ann and Paul have really made it a point to continually stress to me that this is not a competition, but the more the trepidation rises from my competitors, the more confidant I am in my impending victory.

I’ve got my plan completely ready, and am preparing to set forth tonight and purchase everything. The more I hear about everyone else’s (dumbass) plans, the more confidence I have.

I just spent the morning making phone calls, and determining the best locations to cash in on the best deals. I’m ready to absolutely dominate welfare week.

My List:

* 2 lbs. of chicken thighs from Marc’s at $.69 a pound.
* 2 lb. bag of onions from Marc’s for $.59.
* 10 lb bag of potatoes from Aldi’s for $.89.
* Two cans of cream of mushroom soup from Aldi’s at $.39 a can.
* 1 can of coffee from Aldi’s for $1.00.
* Salt and pepper packets, stolen from McDonalds at $0.00.
* 8 oz. bag of Criss Cross brand mint flavored pipe tobacco from Discount Tobacco for $7.10.
* Package of 115 Top brand rolling papers from Discount Tobacco for $.90.
* 5 liter box of Franzia wine from Marc’s for $10.99.

Total: $23.63

Bam. Enough to keep me eating, coffeed up, and drunk as hell with $3 to spare. We’ll just see if I can actually pull of purchasing all of this without any surprises, but I’m pretty sure that I am in line to completely dominate this competition.