Wino

This weekend has really shown me that this personal challenge has really made things hard; hard to stand up, hard to wake up, hard to keep from blacking out.

I keep hearing how difficult the challenge is from everyone. My roommate has been starving all weekend long, and has been quite grumpy about it. Not a day has gone by without Duke calling and trying to convince me that some sort of cheating is all right. Samtoy seems to be knocking it out of the park, in terms of menu items, and is still complaining about a nagging hunger. Am I really the only one who is completely dominating this personal challenge?

Yes. I am. On Friday, I drank two pots of coffee and smoked home-rolled cigarettes all day. For dinner, I made a casserole that was outright delicious. I took 5 potatoes and nuked them. Then I sliced them into au gratin shapes and lined a casserole pan with them. I covered them with diced onions and oregano from our oregano plant. I put my big fatty chicken thighs on top of all of this and slathered all of it with the stolen salt and pepper. I covered it all in the two cans of cream of mushroom soup and backed it at 350 for an hour and a half. Let me just say that it tastes wonderful.

At that point, I let the real point of this challenge begin. I started getting hammered. Surprisingly, the shit wine that I bought is now becoming normal to me, and I’m not having much problem smashing it, which is probably why I blacked out on both Friday and Saturday, and could barely walk up the stairs to my bedroom last night.

I supplemented any short bursts of hunger by cooking a baked potato, and ate one large portion of the casserole each day around lunchtime. What I didn’t really expect, though was how effective this wine would be at getting me sauced. So, Sunday, I was really battling a massive hangover. I found myself budgeting my last two dollars on enough ingredients to make the casserole again. I don’t really think that I have enough cash to do this, but I convinced myself that I did and proceeded to smash today’s portion last night.

There are only four days left, and I have not hit the halfway point on my wine. My bag of tobacco is less than a quarter of the way through. I have the ingredients to make a huge pasta dish tonight that will easily last four days. I have five potatoes left. I have $1.50 left in my budget. I have been shithouse drunk for three days. It is completely obvious that I am well on my way to being the absolute grand champion of this completely noncompetitive personal challenge.